Review: "The Last Stand"

After a decade-long hiatus while serving as the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger has returned with The Last Stand, his first starring role since Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines in 2003.

The film opens with the daring escape of a notorious cartel boss from FBI custody during -- you guessed it -- a prison transfer. Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) is public enemy number one, and he is sprung with an elaborate, well-planned scheme involving a large crane, some heavy firepower, and a series of doubles meant to confuse all his pursuers, led by Agent John Bannister (Forest Whitaker). It's a pretty good scene from director Kim Jee-woon, the respected Asian director of such hits as A Tale of Two Sisters and I Saw the Devil, who stages the action with confidence.

Cortez speeds away in a 200-mph Corvette ZR-1 concept car -- in the most shameless use of product placement by an auto company since Transformers -- busting through every checkpoint and roadblock along the way. Even more shameless is how Cortez's beautiful hostage (Genesis Rodriguez) becomes turned on by the fast action and reckless driving. I am suddenly struck by an immediate desire to go out and buy a Corvette.

Meanwhile, a team of mercenaries (including Peter Stormare) are busy invading the Arizona border town of Sommerton Junction in order to build a bridge over a ravine between the U.S. and Mexico for Cortez's escape. Enter Schwarzenegger, the small town sheriff with big city experience, who will be the only thing standing between Cortez and Mexican freedom.

Arnold stars as Ray Owens, a former narcotics officer who left the LAPD after a bust went sour. When strangers show up in town, Sheriff Ray's spider sense starts tingling, and after a local farmer gets murdered, he's alerted by Agent Bannister about Cortez. Naturally, he knows the two incidents are connected. Together with his ragtag group of deputies (Luis Guzman, Jamie Alexander, and Zach Gilford), a troubled war vet (Rodrigo Santoro), and the crazy owner of the local gun museum (Johnny Knoxville), they prepare for battle. From this point on, the bullets fly.

Good thing the whole town left that morning to travel with the team to the big game, right?

The screenplay, credited to Andrew Knauer (unsurprisingly, no major credits), is full of convenience and cliche, seemingly put together in a hurry to give us only the most basic illusion of drama. If you're into that sort of thing -- drama that is -- you might be distracted by the lack of it.

Does the action make up for it? Maybe. This is a fun, turn-your-brain-off-type of movie that exists just to reunite Arnold with his fans. He's not the hulking monster of a man that he once was, but he can still deliver a line and fire a gun. He seems to be embracing his age, and the film plays that up for an effective laugh or two. Only time will tell if the wiser, world weary version of the Austrian Oak can compete with his younger self, but if he picks his projects right, he really shouldn't need to.

"Setting the Frame" Film Grade = C