Review: Evil Dead (2013)

The Evil Dead, Sam Raimi's 1981 cult horror classic is one of the great independent film success stories. Made for peanuts, and shot on weekends with his friends, the film was both scary and wickedly funny. It showcased the director's innovative visuals and energetic style, which would be put to good use in later films such as The Quick and the Dead and the Spider-Man trilogy.

It also launched the career of Bruce Campbell, who played Ashley J. "Ash" Williams, the hero at the center of Raimi's story. Over the course of three films (Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness being the others), Ash took his place in movie history as one of the most entertaining horror characters ever, thanks to Campbell's cartoonish reactions and larger than life appeal. Since recasting Campbell for this updated version would create distracting comparisons and potentially alienate fans, the filmmakers smartly decided to write out the character altogether. That's right, horror fans, there is no Ash in this movie.

Review: "G.I. Joe: Retaliation"

After nearly all the G.I. Joe forces are wiped out in a sneak attack, three soldiers -- Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrienne Palicki), and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) -- must regroup with Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and recruit the assistance of General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) in order to defeat C.O.B.R.A.

Directed by John M. Chu (Step-Up 2 & 3), I'd say that Retaliation is an average movie with an above-average sense of fun. Although Bruce Willis' involvement amounts to little more than an extended cameo, Johnson and Palicki both have ample screen presence to lead this film, and Chu never misses an opportunity to play to their strengths.

Review: "Parker"

Jason Statham plays a career criminal who is out for revenge after being double crossed and left for dead in Parker. The film is based on the book, Flashfire, by Donald E. Westlake, aka Richard Stark, and if that name sounds familiar, it's probably because Point Blank (1967 Lee Marvin), The Outfit (1973 Robert Duvall), and Payback (1999 Mel Gibson) were also based on his work.

In a job set up by his trusted friend and mentor, Hurley (Nick Nolte), Parker joins a group of thieves that are going to boost the take at the Ohio State Fair. The job goes relatively smooth, thanks to Parker's cool head, but when he refuses to give up his share as front money for another job, the others turn on him. With the exception of a needless flashback right in the middle of an otherwise tense scene, the setup works well enough, and there's a rare moment during the heist, when Parker calms a security officer down, that reminds us that Statham can do more than punch people.

Review: "A Good Day to Die Hard"

Unfortunately, the poster is cooler than the movie.

In the original Die Hard, John McClane (Bruce Willis) walks on some broken glass and limps the rest of the film, visibly in pain. That McClane was tough, but human.

Fast forward 25 years to director John Moore's ( Max Payne) A Good Day to Die Hard -- now the fifth movie in the franchise -- and McClane is punched, kicked, jumps out of a moving car, free falls about twenty stories (twice!), is thrown fifty feet from a helicopter -- you see where I'm going here, right? -- and never gets more than a scratch. Seemingly, Moore and the film's writer, Skip Woods (X-Men Origins: Wolverine), have confused the character of John McClane with the one Willis played in Unbreakable. He is now "super fuzz."

The story begins in Russia, where McClane travels to help out his estranged son, Jack (Jai Courtney), who has been arrested for murder. Little does he know, that Jack is actually a CIA agent sent in to help a Russian dissident named Komarov (Sebastian Koch), escape with files that implicate that country's defense minister, Chagarin (Sergey Kolesnikov).

Of course, things are moving along according to plan until John shows up and blows the operation, exposing them all to attacks from Chagarin's men, led by Alik (Radivoje Bukvic) and Irina (Yuliya Snigir). Once John is brought up to speed, father and son will need to work together in order to accomplish the mission, one that ultimately takes them to Chernobyl to stop some bad guys from stealing weapons-grade plutonium.

There is plenty of action, including an extended car chase sequence through the streets of Moscow, but most of the big action scenes are too over-the-top to get your heart racing and not impressive enough to be memorable. Unfortunately, the lackluster action is the highlight of the film. When things are not moving fast, you will be subjected to young McClane's constant fussing about John's poor parenting skills, while John frequently repeats "I'm on vacation!" in Clerks-esque fashion. No kidding, it sounds as bad out loud as it did when you read it just then.

I don't know what I expect from a Die Hard movie anymore. In fact, I'm not sure anyone -- including Bruce Willis, the filmmakers, and the studio -- know what they want from a Die Hard movie either. The series has been steered so far off course, both in concept and in character that this feels like a completely different beast all together -- Die Hard in name only.